I am an officially designated emissary of BOx Turtles For Universal Xceptance (BOTFUX). We believe that the obsession with animal sex demonstrated by many Republican members of the United States House & Senate is indicative of more than just extremely deep-seated emotional & sexual dysfunctions on their parts. It belies their fundamental misunderstandimating, misinterpretationating, & misunderestimating of Old Testament teaching!
Their bible says: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion." (Leviticus 18:22-23, KJV) The dictionary defines lie as follows: "To be or place oneself at rest in a flat, horizontal, or recumbent position."
Clearly, as long as these Proscriptive Directional Orientations (PDOs) are observed, there can be no violation of their so-called gOD's so-called Laws!
Help Keep Government's Hands Out Of Our Boxes!!
Your Servant in the Eternal Quest for Inter-Species Harmony & Sexual Fulfillment,
Pope Bandar bin Turtle
Email: Pope Bandar bin Turtle
Web: BOx Turtles For Universal Xceptance
Blog: http://botfux.blogspot.com/
Thursday, July 22, 2004
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Pope Bandar bin Turtle Welcomes You to BOTFUX!
Dear Patriotic American,
It has recently come to our attention that the rights of Box Turtles everywhere are being threatened by those who would say that failure to pass the Defense of Marriage Act, by virture of that ever so nebulous "slippery slope" red herring, threatens to undermine the sanctity of marriage in America. We now face new a challenge from them in the form of the Marriage Protection Act.
We, the emissaries of BOx Turtles For Universal Xceptance (BOTFUX), must most forcefully take issue with this blatant assault on the liberties of not only our species, but also of our genus. By extension, the rights of all species are under attack by this right-wing, neo-con, fundamentalist-inspired, unproked, ill-advised, and discriminatory attitude. It can only be confronted by an open and up-front discussion of the issues involved in trans-species marriage & sexual activities. For those unfamiliar with the genesis of this concern, we refer them to the following news items:
"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."
-- Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.)
Link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43048-2004Jul11.html
"That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."
-- Rick Santorum (R-Penn.)
Link: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2003-04-23-santorum-excerpt_x.htm
"He asks if she likes turtles and before your mind heads to the gutter, he was serious... he means actual turtles. He shows her his pet turtle, Cherry, who is adorable. What turtle isn’t? Tammy Faye fawns over the turtle and I get all misty over the tolerance and love abounding on that trolley."
-- Jamie Goralski's reporting of an exchange between Ron Jeremy & Tammie Faye Messner: "The Surreal Life Part 2, Episode 1: Surprises All Around." (January 12, 2004)
Link: http://www.realitynewsonline.com/cgi-bin/ae.pl?article=article3963.art&page=1
It should be apparent to any rational & patriotic person that the genesis of these deep-seated and species-centric phobias is rooted in woman/man/person-kind's previous experience of inter-species sexual violation on a scale that makes the Abu Ghraib prison scandals pale in insignificance.
We refer, of course, to that episode in biblical history when the "sons of God" had sex with "the daughters of men" (Genisis 6:1-4). Without getting to graphic, it would seem reasonable to assume that, in order for the daughters of men to give birth to giants, the sons of God must also have been of comparable stature to the giants. It also seems reasonable to assume that their genitals were proportional to their height & weight. Therefore, the daughters of men must have suffered excruciating pain during the acts of sexual intercourse with the sons of God. This was further exacerbated by the subsequent discomfort of giving birth to the baby giants. This places the abuses at Abu Ghraib & other detention facilities in their proper perspective, as well as going a long way towards partially explaining the nature & depth & types of sexual humiliations which have occured.
Furthermore, since the sons of God are angels, the verses in Luke 20:27-38 assume a clarity of meaning previously hidden. Those who are resurrected "neither marry, nor are given in marriage"; "they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God."
N.B. It doesn't say there will be no sex! Quite the opposite -- the constraints that proponents of "traditional marriage" expound will not exist at all! Therefore, it is these proponents themselves who defy the Will of God, not those individuals (amongst whom we humbly count ourselves) who support expanded rights for couples, triads, & connections of all dimensions for all combinations of sexual orientations & species.
Lastly, we believe that this obsession with animal sex demonstrated by many Republican members of the United States House & Senate is indicative of more than just extremely deep-seated emotional & sexual dysfunctions on their parts. It belies their fundamental misunderstandimating, misinterpretationating, & misunderestimating of Old Testament teaching!
Their bible says: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion." (Leviticus 18:22-23, KJV)
The dictionary defines lie as follows: "To be or place oneself at rest in a flat, horizontal, or recumbent position."
Clearly, as long as these proscriptive directional orientations are observed, there can be no violation of their so-called gOD's so-called Laws! Come out of your shell & protect your & our rights to the non-supine sexual acts of our own choosing!
As Paul the Apostle shrewdly observed: "For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away." (I Corinthians 13:9-10)
We implore you, act before it's too late! Today, the Box Turtles! Tommorow, the Angels!!
Your Servant in the Eternal Quest for Inter-Species Harmony & Sexual Fulfillment,
Pope Bandar bin Turtle
Email: popebandarbinturtle@botfux.keveenpheeleeps.com
Web: http://botfux.keveenpheeleeps.com/
Blog: http://botfux.blogspot.com/
It has recently come to our attention that the rights of Box Turtles everywhere are being threatened by those who would say that failure to pass the Defense of Marriage Act, by virture of that ever so nebulous "slippery slope" red herring, threatens to undermine the sanctity of marriage in America. We now face new a challenge from them in the form of the Marriage Protection Act.
We, the emissaries of BOx Turtles For Universal Xceptance (BOTFUX), must most forcefully take issue with this blatant assault on the liberties of not only our species, but also of our genus. By extension, the rights of all species are under attack by this right-wing, neo-con, fundamentalist-inspired, unproked, ill-advised, and discriminatory attitude. It can only be confronted by an open and up-front discussion of the issues involved in trans-species marriage & sexual activities. For those unfamiliar with the genesis of this concern, we refer them to the following news items:
"It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right. . . . Now you must raise your children up in a world where that union of man and box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife."
-- Sen. John Cornyn (R-Tex.)
Link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43048-2004Jul11.html
"That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be."
-- Rick Santorum (R-Penn.)
Link: http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2003-04-23-santorum-excerpt_x.htm
"He asks if she likes turtles and before your mind heads to the gutter, he was serious... he means actual turtles. He shows her his pet turtle, Cherry, who is adorable. What turtle isn’t? Tammy Faye fawns over the turtle and I get all misty over the tolerance and love abounding on that trolley."
-- Jamie Goralski's reporting of an exchange between Ron Jeremy & Tammie Faye Messner: "The Surreal Life Part 2, Episode 1: Surprises All Around." (January 12, 2004)
Link: http://www.realitynewsonline.com/cgi-bin/ae.pl?article=article3963.art&page=1
It should be apparent to any rational & patriotic person that the genesis of these deep-seated and species-centric phobias is rooted in woman/man/person-kind's previous experience of inter-species sexual violation on a scale that makes the Abu Ghraib prison scandals pale in insignificance.
We refer, of course, to that episode in biblical history when the "sons of God" had sex with "the daughters of men" (Genisis 6:1-4). Without getting to graphic, it would seem reasonable to assume that, in order for the daughters of men to give birth to giants, the sons of God must also have been of comparable stature to the giants. It also seems reasonable to assume that their genitals were proportional to their height & weight. Therefore, the daughters of men must have suffered excruciating pain during the acts of sexual intercourse with the sons of God. This was further exacerbated by the subsequent discomfort of giving birth to the baby giants. This places the abuses at Abu Ghraib & other detention facilities in their proper perspective, as well as going a long way towards partially explaining the nature & depth & types of sexual humiliations which have occured.
Furthermore, since the sons of God are angels, the verses in Luke 20:27-38 assume a clarity of meaning previously hidden. Those who are resurrected "neither marry, nor are given in marriage"; "they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God."
N.B. It doesn't say there will be no sex! Quite the opposite -- the constraints that proponents of "traditional marriage" expound will not exist at all! Therefore, it is these proponents themselves who defy the Will of God, not those individuals (amongst whom we humbly count ourselves) who support expanded rights for couples, triads, & connections of all dimensions for all combinations of sexual orientations & species.
Lastly, we believe that this obsession with animal sex demonstrated by many Republican members of the United States House & Senate is indicative of more than just extremely deep-seated emotional & sexual dysfunctions on their parts. It belies their fundamental misunderstandimating, misinterpretationating, & misunderestimating of Old Testament teaching!
Their bible says: "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination. Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion." (Leviticus 18:22-23, KJV)
The dictionary defines lie as follows: "To be or place oneself at rest in a flat, horizontal, or recumbent position."
Clearly, as long as these proscriptive directional orientations are observed, there can be no violation of their so-called gOD's so-called Laws! Come out of your shell & protect your & our rights to the non-supine sexual acts of our own choosing!
As Paul the Apostle shrewdly observed: "For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away." (I Corinthians 13:9-10)
We implore you, act before it's too late! Today, the Box Turtles! Tommorow, the Angels!!
Your Servant in the Eternal Quest for Inter-Species Harmony & Sexual Fulfillment,
Pope Bandar bin Turtle
Email: popebandarbinturtle@botfux.keveenpheeleeps.com
Web: http://botfux.keveenpheeleeps.com/
Blog: http://botfux.blogspot.com/
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